Today, let’s have a look at a book called ‘Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself. This book helps us to understand the relationship between our mind, habits, and our personality. Dr. Joe Dispenza wrote this book.
About The Author
Dr. Joe Dispenza is an international lecturer, researcher, corporate consultant, author, and educator. He has written more than 30 books so far, and he has been explaining how we can unleash our hidden abilities and use them to make our life better. He believes that there is a strong connection between our thoughts and our life.
Apart from writing books, Dr. Joe Dispenza is a faculty member at Quantum University in Honolulu, Hawaii; the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies in Rhinebeck, New York; and Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. He is also an invited chair of the Life University in Atlanta, Georgia, at their research committee.
About The Book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One is the book’s title, Hay House Inc publishes it. This book is available in hardcover/paperback format, as an audiobook, and as an ebook.
The book is divided into three parts The science of you, Your brain, and meditation & Stepping toward your new destiny.
Summary of The Book
According to the author, our body is also the subconscious mind, and hence if we can change our thoughts, habits, and behavior, we will be able to take control of our life, and we can change it according to our own will.
Most people are accustomed to their habits because it is biologically repeated again and again. If you are doing any activity repeatedly, you start to feel that way, and because you feel that way, you start doing that activity again. It is associated with the chemicals in our brain. People believe that this cycle is unavoidable, and they have to go through it. However, they can change their thoughts and the way they think. It will change their habits. Automatically changing habits will bring a positive impact in life.
That’s why the title of this book is ‘Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One. We can break our old habits because we want to shape our lives the way we want them. Hence, the first step is thinking positively and breaking the habit.
Our brain is made with biological cells. When we do something that makes us happy, a chemical reaction occurs in our brain, releasing a good chemical. When we do something uncomfortable, some other chemical is released into our brain, making us feel sad and pain.
Suppose you have started to exercise and are not feeling happy just because you have to wake up early and do those exercises instead of sleeping in a cozy bed, you might have to face some trouble. It happens because your brain cannot relate the efforts of doing training with the feel-good chemical. It is a real challenge because it will take some time for your brain to associate doing exercise with the feel-good chemicals in your brain. We will have to link our good habits with those feel-good chemicals. It is called brain rewiring, and this is how you can get rid of your old bad habits to be a new you.
Daniel G. Amen highlights this concept in the foreword. According to him, it is essential to maintain the brain’s functioning in the right state to keep our lives on the right track. If the brain is not working right, then there is a possibility that it can affect our life.
In the first part of the book (The Science of You), the author talks about how we are more powerful than we think. He advises the readers to connect the dots between the outer energy and inner cells. Further, he explains that we are connected to the sea of information in a dimension beyond physical space and time. It means whatever we will become in the future is already associated with the present ‘us’ through this connectivity. This part is explained in the chapter called ‘Quantum of You.’ We have the opportunity to utilize this energy to achieve more extraordinary things in our life than we expect from ourselves.
Consequences of Environment
The author believes that the objective world has the impact on a subjective mind. He says our thoughts can control reality. Consciousness can control atoms because those are made with consciousness and energy itself. If we can understand and use this connection, we will be able to make things work for us.
Today, most of us follow the preset automatic actions programmed in our brains by ourselves. When we wake up, we start following that routine we have been following for so many years. If we repeatedly do the same activities without trying something new, we will get the same results. If we are entirely focused on something, our brain will identify the difference between the inner and outer worlds. Hence, we should change our thoughts and mental level, and then we can change our lives. It is discussed in the chapter ‘overcoming your environment.’
Relation with the Body
The overall functioning of our body is fascinating. When our mind thinks about something, a biological process occurs in our brain, certain chemicals are released, and a message is sent to the body through signals. Then our body responds to those signals, and this is how the entire thinking process takes place within us.
Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that help our brain process information. Neuropeptides are chemical messengers made up of small chains of amino acids. These neuropeptides work as a bridge between our brain and body.
There is a cycle. If we are thinking something, it impacts how we feel and think, affecting how we think. If you are thinking positively, you will start feeling positive vibes, and then you will start thinking more positively. Our thinking and our feelings are interrelated with each other.
We can use this for our improvement. Just start thinking greater than what you are feeling right now, and then you will start feeling the way you think. Then repeat the process, which will lead you to a much better level than your original thinking and feeling levels.
All these concepts are nicely discussed in the third chapter called ‘Overcoming your body.’ This is important part in the process of breaking the habit of being yourself.
Secret of Time in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
There are some great benefits of living in the moment. When we are living our present tense, we can move beyond space and time as per the relation of mine and the outer world. However, if we live in the past, there is no such way to execute the power of our minds. Because those moments have already passed, and now we are left with only two options of living the present. That will shape the future.
There are things beyond our control, but some of the items are in our favor. The author highlights the similarities between autonomic nervous systems and computer systems running on autopilot mode. There is something below the surface that is beyond our control, but it directly impacts our behavior.
He also talks about the difference between mood, temperament, and personality traits. The mood is a short-term state. It can last for a few hours or even days. Temperament is different from mood, a tendency toward a regular expression of emotion through certain behaviors. Temperament can last up to weeks. However, a personality trait is something that is a refractory period of feeling. Personality traits can last up to months or, in some cases, years.
The fourth chapter, called ‘ overcoming time, ‘the concepts regarding time and our personality is beautifully explained.
The State of Survival and Creation
When dealing with our emotions and thoughts, we keep thinking about them instead of focusing on what we can do right away. Thinking about the past will not take us anywhere, but we can shape the future to create something new. Don’t be addicted to being somebody.
If a person is having a bad moment with someone, It can affect his mood, and after a few days or weeks, it can turn into temperament, and then after some time, it may become part of his personality. Whatever emotions or thoughts we have in our minds can create an impact on our external selves.
Creation is something that is leaving as a nobody. Suppose if you like to paint, you forget everything about external things, identities, pride and egos, problems and solutions, etc., when you are painting. It is the state of selfless creation, and all the energy and focus are given to the creation process.
These points are beautifully mentioned with additional detailed information and examples in the fifth chapter called ‘Survival vs. Creation.’ Read this in the book breaking the habit of being yourself.
Your Brain and Meditation – Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Then comes the second part, where the author talks about meditation and how meditation can help us stop being the old ‘you and become a new ‘you. To understand the process of reflection, we will have to understand the types and functioning of the brain.
In the sixth chapter, called ‘three brains: thinking to doing to being,’ the author talks about the types of brains.
The neocortex brain helps us to remember, learn or understand. This brain records the information received from the senses—through our eyes, ears, and touch.
The Limbic brain helps us to remember the experiences. It is a chemical or emotional brain. Whenever you are explaining your learnings, it will be much easier for you to explain to them because you will be able to recall the emotions that you had while learning that particular thing.
The cerebellum is that part of the brain. It is responsible for storing our skills, emotions, actions, attitudes. This part helps us visualize how you will answer the questions in your upcoming job interview. Cerebellum stores non-declarative information. You can play an instrument or sing in a particular way, but you won’t be able to explain how you do it. It is a non-declarative memory.
The Gap Between ‘us and us’
The seventh chapter talks about the gap between our reality and the projection of ourselves. The identity projection is how we build our external image for other people to look at us outside. On the other hand, our real self is how we are feeling and who we are from within.
When we form our memories and emotions and become addicted to them, it creates a larger gap between us and our external image.
The author advises readers to become very clear about what they are doing, thinking, feeling, and living. He says that you are transparent when you look exactly how you are.
Meditation to breaking the habit of being yourself
The last chapter in the second part talks about meditation and how it can help us become more familiar with our inner selves. Meditation means self-observation and self-development.
The process of changing anything, the first step is to observe the current state. In meditation, we observe the current state because we want to break the habit of being ourselves.
While doing the meditation, observe your old self and think about the newer version of yourself. Cultivate all the new things you want to have in your new self. This cultivation will take time, but it is worth it to go through this process to change yourself. This is important step in a process of breaking the habit of being yourself.
If you get angry often, then start observing yourself when you are angry. For example, think about something that you wish to change in yourself. What causes make you angry, how do you react in such a situation, and how can you change your reaction and reduce your anger.
You have to find the trigger point, and then you can come up with the solution to deal with it, and eventually, it will lead to the change you are willing to implement.
Stepping Toward Your New Destiny – Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
The third and last part of this book talks about sleeping towards your new destiny. It included meditative process, creative state, how to leave the habit of being yourself, dismantling the memory of old you, creating a new mind for a new future, and living a new reality.
Preparing for Meditation
The ninth chapter of this book is about preparation for meditation. The author talks about multiple areas to prepare before starting meditation. It includes preparing tools such as writing stuff, like a notebook to write the thoughts. After writing the thoughts, it will act as a roadmap for working on the negative elements of ourselves.
Listening stuff, there are some guided meditation audio records that you can refer to and keep ready before the meditation process. These are the prerecorded meditation sessions that you can listen to and follow throughout the process of meditation.
The alternative method includes understanding the meditation process, remembering it before it, and following it. The main idea here is to remember the process and sequence of meditation practice you will perform during your meditation session.
The location is the next important thing, and you should set your location, Which has the lowest amount of distractions. Meditation is all about finding our inner self. it will create distractions in our process of reflection if there is chaos in the external environment. Hence, maintain the maximum peaceful environment. You can also use calm and soothing music to help you focus on yourself while doing meditation.
Preparation of Body
Body Position – One should maintain balance in body posture. The body should be positioned, which should not be highly comfortable or causing any discomfort whenever you are doing meditation.
Preventing the Distractions – Ensure that you have answered nature’s call and have no hunger or thirst. Internal distractions can cause problems in the process of meditation. Keep aside your accessories such as mobile or anything that can cause disruption.
Time for Meditation
Generally, the time which can create the maximum impact of meditation is in the morning when you wake up or at night before going to sleep.
Initially, you can start with a small duration of time, such as 10 minutes, and eventually, you can scale it as per your ‘expertise’ and comfort. Some people meditate for long hours every day. However, meditation is all about talking to ourselves and observing ourselves, so it is more personal. It has nothing to do with other people and their practices. There is no competition with anyone else. This will help you in breaking the habit of being yourself.
The author talks about preparing the state of mind for meditation. It includes mastering the body and mastering the mind. You can read it in detail in the ninth chapter of this book.
Creative State – Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
The next step is opening the door to your creative state. Start feeling the position of the body, and it will help you to gain more focus. Think about the position, environment around you, and how your body is feeling. Start feeling the existence of your body parts. You can start from the head and go down slowly by recognizing the body parts. You will be able to sense the shape, weight, and density. Become aware of what it is.
This process is known as Body-Part Induction. It is the process that makes us aware of our body parts from head to toe. The 10th chapter, called ‘Open the Door to Your Creative State (Week One), explains this entire process.’
Detach from the Habit of Being Yourself
It is focused on detaching from the habit of being yourself, and there are specific steps we can follow to make it happen. The first step is to identify the problem. We will have to recognize our current state if we are willing to change it.
We could do it by asking ourselves, What kind of person have I been? What type of person do I present to the world? What kind of person am I am really like inside? Etc.
Now it is time to unmemorize an emotion. Whatever it may be, start observing how you feel about it in your body. It could be a shame, guilt, sorrow, or anything else. Don’t try to stop it.
Then it’s time to admit it. Acknowledge yourself, and you don’t have to declare it to others. This admission could be anything like, ‘I am afraid of losing people, so I don’t build emotional connections with most people.
The next step is to surrender to a more expanded mind and know it will do this for you. You start believing that the change is about to happen because the control is given to greater energy when you surrender to a greater expanded mind. This will help you in breaking the habit of being yourself.
Dismantling the Thoughts of Your Old Self
Think of your old self and the changes you’re willing to make in your current state. Start observing yourself and focus on the part that you want to change. You can write the thoughts you get in your mind. It can include anything such as ‘No one cares about me’ or ‘This is a bad day.’
Then it is time to redirect. Imagine yourself in a profoundly connected situation to your old self and visualize you reacting to it in your old style.
For example, if you are overeating throughout the day and willing to change that habit, imagine yourself eating constantly and saying “Change.” this will create the sound of redirection in your mind. So whenever you are doing that activity in your real life, the word ‘change’ will redirect you from doing that activity.
The author says, “Associative Memories Trigger Automatic Responses.” This method will automatically trigger your habit of old you, and you can redirect it to the habit you are willing to inculcate in yourself. It will lead to breaking the habit of being yourself.
Creating a New Mind for an Unknown Future
It is implementing the theory that you have learned so far. Start practicing your new mind until it becomes a familiar thing for you. When you are doing a meditation session, you are constantly reproducing the same mind again and again.
Start asking the questions to yourself. Answer those questions. Whenever you are in any situation, start thinking from the perspective of the new you. Your new personality will become your new reality, and it will create a new destiny that you always wanted to have for yourself.
Start Living Your New Reality
Once you have completed all the activities mentioned above, you will start living your new reality. Then you will have to keep measuring yourself and your day.
You can measure it by asking yourself some questions such as ‘How did I do today?’ or ‘How can I do better the next time that happens?’.
Always make sure that you are entirely transparent by answering these questions because this is your new reality, and you will be replicating this in your future.
Conclusion – Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
This book talks about how we can improve our current stage by implementing some techniques. Our mind creates our reality, and if we want to change our reality, we will have to change our thoughts and the way we think about everything. Meditation is a great way to achieve the new you by breaking the habit of being yourself.